Never rent the movie Evolution - unless you're really keen on seeing David Duchovny's naked ass pressed up against a windshield.

Yeah....and that IS the highlight of this film. No lie.

Picked that rotting heap up this past weekend....hoping for something light....and ended up with dialogue that would make Russ Meyer vomit. And acting? Hello? Fox Mulder needed to keep his day job, rather than fishing for words on the big screen. His acting is flat and unfunny to boot. Everyone else in the cast sucks equally - and should all be whipped for even looking at this script. Couldn't even bear to finish this one.

The back of the Blockbuster box said it's Ghostbusters meets Men in Black. Right.

Try Road Trip meets My Favorite Martian. Weak.

Feels like I haven't slept in a week.
Working two jobs in a 50-hour week kind of kills after a while.

I guess I shouldn't complain. At least I'm working.

I like Donald Rumsfeld. Other than the petty bully tactics, dogmatic statements and general hawkish attitude - he's a pretty humorous guy. Like the time he dissed a reporter who asked about the goals of bombing....

"We are bombing them because we are trying to kill them." Very nice.

So now.....it's the whereabouts of Mr. Bin Laden. The CIA has publicly said that Osama has flown the coop and is probably making time with a hookah in Pakistan. Rumsfeld feels differently. He has better information than the CIA.

"We still believe they're in the country," Mr. Rumsfeld said. "We're still operating on that basis."

Mr. Rumsfeld went on to comment on the source of his intelligence on the possible whereabouts of Bin Laden.

"It's all specific," he said. "Most of it is wrong, but it's all specific."

Soooo.....we've got the American Taliban within the American Judical system. Big whoop.

This kid does not deserve the attention he's receiving. If anything, he's a misguided trust fund case who managed to hook up with the EVILDOERS in the right place at the wrong time. Had this kid decided that the IRA was the place to work out his angst, he wouldn't even be afforded a blip on the AP wire. But, because he chose the terrorist d'jour to pitch his tent with, we have this media circus to contend with.

Will he be tried for treason?
Will the Feds seek a life sentance?

Right.

First off, this pud should be happy he opened his mouth about his SoCal roots in front of reporters. Had the local militia got their grubby mitts on him before that, guarranteed - this guy would be desert beetle fodder. Two bullets in the head. So there's that.

Instead of being dead, he is the latest candidate for military media diverson since Oliver North shredded the constitution. Every talk show and right-wingnut is calling for a criminal beatdown on this sorry sod.

Lock him up and give the key to Pat Robertson.
Make him write the pledge of allegence 100,000 times......with wet chalk.

Truth be told, this kid deserves the same as a generic first-time felony offender. Five years max.

Why so little time? Well, every year hundreds of Americans ditch the country to go play merc in the boneyards of the third world for whatever reason. What this kid did isn't illegal - but it sure ended up being so.

Saw something I haven't seen in Portland for a while. Steaming sewer grates.

Cold air is running a bull market in Portland. It wants to snow, but the sky isn't making any promises. Seeing your breath again is really the bellweather of winter. Unless you can blow steam, it really isn't that cold.

Picked up the Tron special edition DVD this afternoon.....very nice. Although the "20th Anniversary Edition" packaging made me feel like a digital Methusela.

Had a hard time fathoming the headlines this morning. Out from behind the CIA admitting that Bin Laden escaped (a real shock) - and the government downplaying it's intimate games with Enron....

Bush Chokes on Pretzel - Passes Out.

In an afternoon press conference, the black-clad Prez flashed a shiner and matching fat lip from a fall that accompanied the "pretzel" incident. He indicated that all was well, and that the scare would not interrupt his schedule. Right. I suspect some kind energy folks from Texas, the same ones that asked Arthur Andresen to burn certain files, were paying a visit to Uncle George just to set the record straight.

Playing Chinese Torture Pretzel with George was just the icing on the cake.

So what about this Enron deal? Anyone smell a rat? How about several while-collar rats gripping golden parachutes and a personal pardon from our beloved leader.

Believe it.

Strange dream the other night.

I was visiting some relative who I didn't really recognize. You know the ones....Aunt Helen and Uncle Roy from Nova Scotia? The ones your father met when he was a child. Once.

In any event, we were all playing Monoploy. As I moved my gamepeice forward on the board, Uncle Roy told me that I had just commited the "double whaataang error" and had to forfeit the game to those remaining. I told them that I quit, because of the lameness of the "error". As I walked in their kitchen, Roy tries to console me by asking if I had tried the "licorice grapes". I said no, and he offered me a jar that had a selection of bug-shaped candies. When I bit into one, it tasted like an almond - and revealed a smaller, smiling bug looking at me.

What a difference a month makes.

In the stretch of a couple weeks, the holidays were survived and the employment questions that had been dogging me these past few months were suddenly and thankfully given some answers. Granted, I got the teaching gig in November, so there was some comfort there - but when the first Friday of the new year rolled in....another job was on its heels.

So, I'm working days and nights for fun and profit. 50 hours a week, with serious coffee breaks to keep the feet moving. My new gig is slaving as a data processor for a local hospital. The folks there are decent and hard-working, so the experience has been a satisfying challenge. Big steps - considering the drought of engaging work as of late. The night gig definately keeps me going, but it will only last for a short while. Not seeing my wife at night bugs me, so the moment something diurnal comes around, I'm all over it.

So, we wait and see....