Reflecting on things...
Time experiences an elasticity when you are in crisis. Your focus tightens and you are consumed with the resolution or outcome. The last two weeks feels like two years. We shared the girls for 14 days - and in that time, they met almost all of our family and friends - had at least a thousand photos taken of them - got to interact with their big brother, Greer - take a stroller ride in the park on a sunny day - and became a beautiful vortex for our family. They were loved unconditionally and completely by family, friends and complete strangers. All of that living in 14 days.
Placing the girls to rest - however - turned out to have some challenging moments.
When we realized that the girls were going to pass - I suggested that we use a family plot in the Pioneer Cemetary at 82nd and Holgate - where my great grandparents (Peck) are buried. There was some concern about the nearby traffic, so we checked with another recommended modern cemetary nearby - that wasn't so close to a busy street. At this cemetary, the plot was free because of their age. So....after we settled on a few details (and some paperwork) with a funeral counselor - we went to look at the site....which sadly, was not what we wanted for the twins. The site was crowded and had no character. It also was a special children's section, so it had a very sad feeling (pinwheels, toys, etc) associated with it. After some quick phone calls, I canceled the arrangements and set up the internment for Pioneer Cemetary. Thankfully, we've never been more sure about the decision - and the resolution of this gave us a better peace about where the girls would be. It also affords us the option of being with them - when Alexis and I retire from this mortal coil.
Before the graveside service, I went into our backyard and picked some grape hiacynth to place in the casket. Something from home to take with them.
Saturday morning at 11am. It was raining lightly and looked somberly cinematic in mood. Men and women dressed in black. A tent erected in a graveyard. A small casket. I was wearing a new black suit - and feeling older. I don't remember all the words that were said, but it was beautiful and sad. My brother took a camera and helped record a few important moments. The placing of flowers. The often unrecorded actions of beauty.
The memorial on Saturday afternoon was amazing. I saw so many old friends. It was one of those times where your faith in humanity receieves a lift. So much support and love - that I can hardly express our gratitude. The church was packed (about 175) and the service was much what I had hoped for. A celebration and affirmation of life. Our beautiful girls...
On another note....the floral arrangements at the church memorial were later crafted into a flower cross for the Easter Sunday service. Just knowing that these mourning flowers - could be transformed into a celebration of resurrection - made me smile.
After Easter, we placed the cross with the girls. It looks beautiful.
Placing the girls to rest - however - turned out to have some challenging moments.
When we realized that the girls were going to pass - I suggested that we use a family plot in the Pioneer Cemetary at 82nd and Holgate - where my great grandparents (Peck) are buried. There was some concern about the nearby traffic, so we checked with another recommended modern cemetary nearby - that wasn't so close to a busy street. At this cemetary, the plot was free because of their age. So....after we settled on a few details (and some paperwork) with a funeral counselor - we went to look at the site....which sadly, was not what we wanted for the twins. The site was crowded and had no character. It also was a special children's section, so it had a very sad feeling (pinwheels, toys, etc) associated with it. After some quick phone calls, I canceled the arrangements and set up the internment for Pioneer Cemetary. Thankfully, we've never been more sure about the decision - and the resolution of this gave us a better peace about where the girls would be. It also affords us the option of being with them - when Alexis and I retire from this mortal coil.
Before the graveside service, I went into our backyard and picked some grape hiacynth to place in the casket. Something from home to take with them.
Saturday morning at 11am. It was raining lightly and looked somberly cinematic in mood. Men and women dressed in black. A tent erected in a graveyard. A small casket. I was wearing a new black suit - and feeling older. I don't remember all the words that were said, but it was beautiful and sad. My brother took a camera and helped record a few important moments. The placing of flowers. The often unrecorded actions of beauty.
The memorial on Saturday afternoon was amazing. I saw so many old friends. It was one of those times where your faith in humanity receieves a lift. So much support and love - that I can hardly express our gratitude. The church was packed (about 175) and the service was much what I had hoped for. A celebration and affirmation of life. Our beautiful girls...
On another note....the floral arrangements at the church memorial were later crafted into a flower cross for the Easter Sunday service. Just knowing that these mourning flowers - could be transformed into a celebration of resurrection - made me smile.
After Easter, we placed the cross with the girls. It looks beautiful.
3 Comments:
Dear Alex and Greg,
Thank you so much for your unselfishness in sharing your beautiful girls with us.
All our love,
Traci and Dan
By Traci, at 3:13 PM
having your daughters' flowers transformed into the body of the resurrected cross on easter sunday morning was so powerful, so appropo, so beyond-words. we bought a pink dogwood and are planting it in our yard, amidst our bloom of flowers, in celebration of your girls beautiful lives.
cheryl and kendra
By Anonymous, at 8:14 AM
Greg, Alex, and Greercito,
Thanks you for sharing this life-giving journey with all of us. It was So good to see you all.
We are always with you.
Your comadres in Denver
By Anonymous, at 2:38 PM
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